Ene Gets Stuck in an Ouya
by Dr-J33
Summary: Yeah the title says it all. You probably shouldn't read this, I just ripped off the Pickle Rick episode of Rick and Morty then changed everything. You should read something better like Jam by Yahtzee Crowshaw, that's a good book. Oh and Happy August 15th I guess


It was a beautiful summer day outside. The sun was shining, birds were chirping. It was a wonderful day for everybody except Shintaro Kisaragi who was the only person who hated the sun more than a vampire. He was walking down the sidewalk grumpily muttering to himself as he carried an Ouya game console.

"Of all the things you've done Ene this is the worst." Said Shintaro to the console. "I mean how do you get STUCK in a game system?!"

"I'm just as mad about this as you are a Master!" Screamed Ene from the console "I should have no problem moving from electronic device to electronic device but this system is so crappy that I can't get out!"

Shintaro groaned.

"I guess it's partially my fault too... I suppose..."

* * *

ONE HOUR AGO

* * *

Shintaro angrily clenched the hunk of useless plastic that was the Ouya controller as he tried to play a game on the system.

"This is awful! There's hardly any good games on this thing and the ones that are playable work horribly with this controller!"

Ene nodded from her master's phone as she watched him suffer. Normally she enjoyed watching the Neet suffer but as a former gamer girl she sympathized with his plight.

"Not even Sonic CD runs good on this... and it's the good version of CD too!"

Shintaro dropped the controller and looked at the red marks the device left on his hands.

"God the last time my hands hurt this much-"

Shintaro stopped himself, realizing just in time that his joke could be turned against him by an inappropriate quip from Ene.

"They hurt a lot..."

"Ya know master, we got this Oyua for free and I still want a refund."

The Ouya was given to Momo by a fan of hers, however she had no idea how to even set up the device. So she gave it to her brother, who was initially curious about the system.

"There has to be a way to make this better..." muttered Shintaro.

Suddenly Ene had an idea, visually represented on Shintaro's smartphone by a lightbulb that appeared above her.

"Master I've got it! Plug me into the device!" Said Ene excitedly "I can hack the system, fix the games, and I can set up a controller emulating program on the phone!"

Shintaro paused for a moment, processing Ene's offer.

"Ene, this is probably the second best idea you've ever had."

"You flatter me Master, now plug me in!"

Shintaro grabbed a cord from his desk and plugged one end into his phone.

"Ready?"

"I was born ready."

He plugged the other end into the Ouya and watched as Ene dissapeared from the phone, reappearing as a blue light on the system.

"I'm in master.'

"Excellent... now commence operation Oh-ya." Said Shintaro

"Stupid name but okay... a few variables... change some factors and... w-What?"

"What is it?"

"I can't change anything! The device is too complicated! I can't change variables, I can't bring in new games, most I can do is adjust volume and access the credit card information of everyone linked to the Ouya."

"How much credit card info we talking Ene?" Shintaro asked.

"Well most accounts are either deactivated or expired so... three functional bank accounts but they're pretty empty... nothing worth pilfering. Should I pilfer anyways?"

"No point, Ouya already robbed them." Shintaro replied.

"Heh yeah, I'm coming back."

Ene did not reappear on Shintaro's phone.

"Oh no..."

"Ene?"

"Master I'm stuck... I can't get out please help me!"

Shintaro looked at the Ouya, then back at his phone, which was Ene free for the first time in ages.

"... so you can't get out or access any of my information?"

"No why would- master you wouldn't..."

Shintaro unplugged the Ouya and set it into his closet.

"MASTER HOW COULD YOU!?"

A smile formed on Shintaro s face. He was free for the first time in two years. Free from Ene blackmailing him, free to search whatever he wanted, and he was going to savor every minute of freedom he had.

"I'll let you out Ene... eventually."

* * *

Ene was loosing her mind. She had no idea how long she'd been trapped in the Ouya, screaming for help. She tried to amuse herself by playing the Ouya's game library but it only contributed to her insanity.

"I have to get out of here... if I have to play amazing frog again...oh god."

Ene couldn't take it anymore, she wanted to leave her prison one way or another.

"If I delete myself then I'll be free... but I'll be dead... then again, is this truly living, trapped in a _ X _ game console with a horrible OS? Playing games that developers probably crapped out the day before launch? If this is life then I would prefer death... goodbye Shintaro... it's been-"

Just then the closet door opened and Shintaro reached in, grabbing the Ouya.

"Okay Ene let's get you out."

"MASTER!? You're returned after ten years-"

"Ene it's been two hours."

"Wait really? I thought I was forgotten in that closet for years."

"No I left you in there, browsed the web, but then I kinda got bored. So let's get you out of there and back into my phone I guess."

"Master... you do care."

"Don't push it Ene."

* * *

NOW

* * *

Shintaro stopped.

"This is it."

They stood before an electronics repair shop in town.

"Hopefully they can get you out Ene. If not I'll see if the Gang can do something."

Shintaro entered the store and set the Ouya on the counter. A moment later an employee approached Shintaro with a smile on his face.

"What can I do for ya?"

"Um my friend is trapped in this system and I need to get her out." Said Shintaro

The employee raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Trapped?"

"It's awful in here!" Said Ene

The employee gave the Ouya a confused look before shrugging.

"Meh, not the weirdest thing somebody brought in." He muttered "I can try to get her out, never worked on an Ouya before but there's a first time for everything."

"Oh thank you." Said Shintaro.

"It'll be sixty dollars."

"... what?"

"Well I'm not doing it for free."

Shintaro fished around in his pocket before removing its contents.

"I got ten dollars in coins and a gift card to subway..."

The employee smiled at the Neet.

"Get out of here."

* * *

Shintaro approached the Mekakushi dan hideout, the Ouya in one hand and a soda in the other.

"Did you really have to stop for a soda break?" Ene asked

"Yeah, I needed fuel."

Shintaro took a long swig of soda as he approached the door.

"Hopefully Kido has an idea what to do, or at least sixty bucks we can borrow."

And if she doesn't?" End asked

"Ever see old yeller?"

"You wouldn't..."

"Okay so you're fine living in that Ouya forever then."

Shintaro opened the door and stepped inside the hideout, not even bothering to knock.

"Guys! I need your help!"

The hideout was unusually empty and quiet.

"Guys?"

Shintaro walked into the living room as he finished off his soda.

"Guys if this is a prank it better-"

Shintaro felt his foot step on something soft. He slowly looked down, eyes widening in horror as he saw what he had stepped on:

Kido's lifeless corpse.

"DANCHOU!?" Ene shouted

Shintaro let out a feminine shriek and nearly dropped the Ouya.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?"

"Shin... taro..."

Shintaro looked to his left and saw Kano and Seto on the ground, mortally wounded as they crawled towards him.

"Shintaro... run... before he finds you..." Seto moaned

"Before who finds me?"

"Me?"

From the nearby hallway emerged the snake of clearing eyes possessing the body of Konoha: enter known in this form as Kuroha.

"Welcome to my womb Kisaragi."

"W-why are you here!?"

"Did you forget what day it is?"

Shintaro looked at a nearby conveniently placed calendar.

AUGUST 15th

"Crap..."

Kuroha drew a knife and pointed it at Shintaro.

"You know snakes shed their skin... humans technically can too but it's much more painful."

"I may have no life, but I ain't dying today!"

Shintaro threw his plastic soda bottle at Kuroha (Which did nothing) and ran into a nearby bedroom, locking the door.

"Okay I bought us at least 1 minute." Said Shintaro.

"If only we had a way to defeat the snake of clearing eyes..." said Ene.

"Yeah, I'd rather not die in..."

Shintaro examined the room which was painted in dark colors, messy, and had a shelf of model robots.

"... Kano's room."

"Wait master, the robots over there gave me an idea!" Said Ene.

"I'm listening..."

"Remember that American show, Rick and Morty? The episode where Rick turned into a pickle and had to make a rat suit to move around?"

"You want to try making a robot suit out of parts."

"Bingo."

Shintaro Shrugged.

"Why not, we're dead anyways."

"WHOO! Let's show that snake what Ouya Ene can do!"

* * *

A MINUTE LATER...

* * *

"I can't do shit!"

Shintaro had taped gundam legs and arms onto the ouya, which did nothing.

"I can't control these limbs at all!"

"Well we tried." Said Shintaro "Guess you need a brain for this to work."

"Hey!"

Suddenly Kuroha busted the door down and smiled sadistically at the two.

"A bottle? Really?"

"Oh man this is it!" Shouted Shintaro.

"It's all this stupid Ouya's fault!" Said Ene. "If it wasn't for this crappy system and it's dumb controller."

Suddenly Shintaro had an idea, which wasn't visually represented by a lightbulb that appeared above him because Shintaro was a real person and not a program.

"That's it!"

Shintaro reached into his jacket and took out the Ouya controller.

"This thing cuts into the palm of my hand with ease, so it should have no problem cutting into you!"

"You intend to defeat me with a controller Kisaragi? I thought you were smarter than this."

"I'll make you eat those words snake!"

Shintaro threw the controller with as much force as he could muster at the snake of clearing eyes, the plastic colliding with his neck and slicing off his head.

"W-What!?" Blurted Kuroha "How did you... with a controller!?"

"We did it Ene! We beat Kurosawa!" Cheered Shintaro.

"Not so fast!" Said Kuroha's head "I can regenerate!"

Kuroha's body continued to stand in place for ten seconds before falling over.

"Huh, guess I was wrong."

And then it died.

"Looks like we saved the day Mary." Said Shintaro

"KIDO IS STILL DEAD!" Shouted Seto from the living room

"I NEVER TOLD HER I LOVED HER!" Sobbed Kano

"We still got one problem." Said Ene.

"And that is?"

"I'm still trapped in this Ouya!"

"Oh right, hey you guys know how to get her out if this thing?" Asked Shintaro, sticking his head out of the doorway.

Seto was glaring at Shintaro as Kano sobbed into Kido's bloodstained hoodie.

"No I don't."

"Drat... maybe Mary know-"

Without warning Mary barged in holding a shotgun.

"I AINT LOOPING THE TIMELINE THIS TIME SNAKE!"

Mary pulled the trigger, not realizing that the snake of clearing eyes was dead and shot Shintaro in the chest by accident.

"MASTER!" Screamed Ene.

"Ene... i think I'm done for... "

"D-Don't say that Master!"

"Do me a favor... delete my... browser... history..."

And with that Shintaro died.

"MASTER NO!"

Mary took aim at the Ouya and fired again, destroying the system before sliding on a pair of sunglasses.

"PC master race."

* * *

Takane awoke in a cold sweat at her desk.

"Gah!... I-It was a dream... I'm not trapped in the Ouya... phew."

"Takane!"

Haruka entered the room holding an Ouya, the mere sight of the system triggered negative emotions in the narcoleptic gamer.

"Sensei found this while cleaning his office and said we could have it! Let's play!"

Takane grabbed the Ouya and threw it out the window before giving Haruka a death glare.

"Never again..."

 _This was just something I whipped up for August 15. It was fun writing Kagerou Project again, like seeing an old friend. Unfortunately I don't have much motivation to write more Kagepro fics right now but I might come back sometime. Anyways thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you next time._


End file.
